Monday, March 10, 2008

True Stories of Eternal Salvation

(Click on picture to enlarge)

True Stories: "Like Real Life, But Drawn Terribly!"


Refuge said...

I think we've all had run ins with Bible Beaters. One time at the Wildwood Boardwalk, my brother Nick, my friend Lashard and myself were just sitting on a bench, eating Mack & Mancos pizza, watching the Jersey skanks walk by, you know, just minding our own business. Then along comes two guys about our age and they commented on how we were just wasting our time looking at women when we could be doing something else with our lives like the Messiah intended. Lashard then said, "Hey man, we're just taking in God's work." Sad to say this conversation with these two guys (who sported some Jesus University hoodies) went on for a good 15 minutes as they told us all about God's dos and don'ts. Finally, my brother asked them, "What about masturbating?" They then became quite uncomfortable and walked away. I think one of them might've been mentally slow.

Blister Keaton said...

Try to boil this story down to basics, Refuge. I'm laughing now, but it took a good two paragraphs to get there.

It was in a moment of weakness that I talked to these people. I had time to kill, I figured it could make a good story, and, frankly, I was lonely.

And isn't that who they target? Weak willed individuals, people who are lonely, people who have disposable income that they aren't forced to spend on family or food or French tudors for Little Jo-Jo and Greggy Jr.?

Most religion is acceptable mind-control. Now, spirituality, that's a different story. You can be spiritual without being religious. I can enjoy the small things in life (mouth-watering foodstuffs, ear-pleasing musical compositions, eye-watering poops, etc.) without ever being religious.

Plus, I don't think they would let you found a church that specifically venerates eye-watering dumps.