Friday, March 28, 2008

I Surrender


(Click on picture to enlarge)

If doughnuts weren't supposed to make you poop, they wouldn't be shaped like toilet seats.

Wait...

(Dials phone)

"Hello, Patent Office? You better sit down for this one..."

5 comments:

Refuge said...

That croissant sounds like something they would sell at Jack In The Box.
www.jackinthebox.com
I swear, Jack In The Box's agenda is to kills us all off, one by one by raising our cholesterol and blood pressure. Ever since kids died from eating undercooked meat (and supposedly they were using cat meat to make their burgers) they needed to find a different strategy. I mean seriously, what other fast food place is going to offer a meal for $3.99 that contains two tacos, a chicken sandwich, a double bacon cheeseburger, apple pie, a large side of onion rings and fries and a large milkshake with extra whip cream? Also, you'd think their sirloin steak burger on cibatta bread would taste delicious but think again. You just feel disgusted with yourself. One more thing to add to this diatribe: Jack In The Box smells like farts. No joke, I walked by one, and I swear I was nowhere near a sewer system, and the place smelled like they were airing out all the wet smelly farts they had collected from a bunch of customers that came in with the worst case of ass hiccups. I guess what I'm trying to say is Jack In The Box sucks.

Carl Mandamus said...

the previous comment has nothing to do with the comic.

Blister Keaton said...

That description of Jack In the Box reminds me of curtains.

http://www.bedbathstore.com/windowfashions.html

I swear, curtains are infuriatingly pointless. I know, I get it, curtains offer the privacy that you need when you have windows. If everyone is so obsessed with privacy, though, why do we even have windows? If we had no windows, we wouldn't need to spend money on curtains. I can't imagine how much money the average person spends on curtains in their life. Hundreds? Very possible. So, if you don't spend money on windows, then you don't spend money on curtains. That way you'll have more money to spend at places like Jack in the Box and Gas-N-Grub. But we all have to have windows, right? Must have windows, that's what they tell you! It would be prison without windows! So, you get the windows and you have to get the curtains. But, of course, you have to pick the right curtains. You scrutinize them, you cater them to your color scheme. I have a nautical theme at my house, and so, naturally, I have to find curtains with steering columns or anchors. It's such a big hassle. Curtains...

I guess what I'm really saying is: curtains are like Jack in the Box. They each have nothing to do with the original post.

Refuge said...

Sorry to digress. The croissant mentioned in the original post just sounds likes something Jack In The Box would sell because it's disgustingly high in fat and cholesterol. I guess I just feel like Ahhhh, Phooey! is the right forum for me to really express myself. Everyone else I express my opinions to, my friends, family and therapist, all tend to change their numbers, e-mail and home addresses and after hearing me speak my mind for a while. I've officially become the John Hinckley Jr./Mark Chapman of comments posting on this blog, haven't I?

Carl Mandamus said...

I'm thinking about purchasing the Priscilla Lace Ruffled Curtain Pair. For 35$ I can hang them from two curtain rods, creating a criss-cross window treatment. The embroidered lace pattern should compliment my new sofa/lazy boy living room set rather nicely. Thanks Mr. Phooey for posting that otherwise pointless link!